Hungary Pangs
The winter of 2009 was a rough one.
I was moving from Prague to Budapest 3 suitcases at a time. I couldn’t afford to rent a car, so after several trips spread out by bus and train, I finally had everything with me that was going to continue the journey. The rest of my life, 5 years of Prague, I left behind.
The winter of 2009 was a rough one.
I was moving from Prague to Budapest 3 suitcases at a time. I couldn’t afford to rent a car, so after several trips spread out by bus and train, I finally had everything with me that was going to continue the journey. The rest of my life, 5 years of Prague, I left behind.
Hungary had just introduced a tax incentive program, and I saw the potential. Determined to start over, to cut out the path I wanted for my life, I rented hotels, arranged meetings, and presented 'the best of what I did best' to the local production managers. Nothing came of it. Money from previous jobs was drying up, and after hearing of other friends being hired on a project there, I gave it one last shot. Finally, I was offered a job.
But they offered me a job I had no experience at whatsoever. The learning curve would be steep. I was bold, I was grateful. I loved making movies, it meant everything to me. So, I took the plunge.
Two weeks later, I was fired. I had just moved my entire life, piece by piece, paying my way for busses, trains and apartments to a new city, to a new and difficult country. I knew the risk, that's the price you pay for getting in the ring instead of sitting on the sidelines. But now, I was trapped, surrounded by an unfamiliar language, and with few resources other than my wits.
Two weeks later, I was fired. I had just moved my entire life, piece by piece, paying my way for busses, trains and apartments to a new city, to a new and difficult country. I knew the risk, that's the price you pay for getting in the ring instead of sitting on the sidelines. But now, I was trapped, surrounded by an unfamiliar language, and with few resources other than my wits.
Square Peg in A Round Hole
As I sat there in a cold Hungarian apartment in the middle of the winter, broke, with no heat on, with snow falling outside, I watched as friends who owed me money were flown in and put up in warm apartments, get paid per diems, be invited into the local industry, paid a salary, and still tell me they didn’t have money to pay me back, while knowing the money I loaned them help them secure the same job. It was painful, to say the least. To make matters worse, positions I was perfectly suited for were offered to friends who were flown in and put up in hotels to do them instead. The world was not only indifferent to my efforts, it was laughing at them.
But I had roughed it before and made it to the other side. I got my first big film job while sleeping on floors, eating with food coupons, living out of backpacks so I could see the world, and spend my free time drawing in cafés throughout Eastern Europe. In fact, that’s how I got my first job. The owner of a magazine saw me drawing in a Prague café, liked my work, hired me, and then recommended me onto my first film.
So, back to zero, with nothing else to sustain me, I did what I only knew best. I returned to my art.
I began teaching myself new software and, admiring the work of my friends, I tried to emulate them. When you are cold and broke, you aren’t distracted. You are desperate. And desperation channels energy into whatever you focus on. And since you aren’t distracted, you are focused on what you hold most valuable, you pour yourself into getting better.
I didn’t know it yet, but I was building a road toward self-actualization. The skills I was teaching myself were intended to serve the production industry, but since they weren’t hiring me for that, those skills naturally flowed into my own project instead.
Iron Meets Iron
Over the next period, I designed the city from the screenplay I had written several years before. Every day, in a room with only a small table and sofa, I sat at a laptop with a tiny screen, and worked on getting better.
As I sat there in a cold Hungarian apartment in the middle of the winter, broke, with no heat on, with snow falling outside, I watched as friends who owed me money were flown in and put up in warm apartments, get paid per diems, be invited into the local industry, paid a salary, and still tell me they didn’t have money to pay me back, while knowing the money I loaned them help them secure the same job. It was painful, to say the least. To make matters worse, positions I was perfectly suited for were offered to friends who were flown in and put up in hotels to do them instead. The world was not only indifferent to my efforts, it was laughing at them.
But I had roughed it before and made it to the other side. I got my first big film job while sleeping on floors, eating with food coupons, living out of backpacks so I could see the world, and spend my free time drawing in cafés throughout Eastern Europe. In fact, that’s how I got my first job. The owner of a magazine saw me drawing in a Prague café, liked my work, hired me, and then recommended me onto my first film.
So, back to zero, with nothing else to sustain me, I did what I only knew best. I returned to my art.
I began teaching myself new software and, admiring the work of my friends, I tried to emulate them. When you are cold and broke, you aren’t distracted. You are desperate. And desperation channels energy into whatever you focus on. And since you aren’t distracted, you are focused on what you hold most valuable, you pour yourself into getting better.
I didn’t know it yet, but I was building a road toward self-actualization. The skills I was teaching myself were intended to serve the production industry, but since they weren’t hiring me for that, those skills naturally flowed into my own project instead.
Iron Meets Iron
Over the next period, I designed the city from the screenplay I had written several years before. Every day, in a room with only a small table and sofa, I sat at a laptop with a tiny screen, and worked on getting better.
I had no idea how it was going to be used. My intentions were to put this in my portfolio, and simply use it to get a job I desperately needed; And that winter I still had not even considered making this as an animated film. But I had unknowingly taken a step forward in a journey that is still coming into fruition six years later.
A Perfect Fit
Yesterday, after three and a half months of intense daily work, we finally finished the texture painting for one of the more dense scenes in our movie. But we were missing our element outside the window. I put the rough cut on loop, and watched it over and over again, but the blank screen outside the set was maddening. I had ideas, but nothing formulated. How was the outside scene going to play out? I needed a guide to go with my vision.
Suddenly, I remembered my models built in 2009. Would they work? When every day is a battle to maintain, sustain, lead, and produce, it seemed too easy to already have something ready to go. I brought the models I built on that tiny laptop into the set.
A Clear Reflection
Today, I will begin working on the final choreography outside the window. I don’t have the answers yet, but I have some help.
I have the guidelines I started six years ago, when I was cold, desperate, fighting, and alone in a foreign country, with nothing on my mind but the desire to survive and create.
And looking at all we have accomplished so far, that creation is beginning to meet me halfway. For that, I am grateful.
Thinking back to 2008 and 2009, I did not get the job I was willing to do anything to get. Nor did I keep the job they ended up giving me.
Instead, I ended up sitting in a cold Hungarian apartment, making my movie without even knowing it.
And looking at how the work I did back then is being used now, the once bitter taste I felt in my mouth somehow tastes a little bit sweeter today.
It's the taste of conviction.
The Journey Continues.
TG
If you like stories like these, write to [email protected] and you will be included into the making of our film.
@playingthegame1
TheFCStartMovie.com
Comments welcome below.
I have the guidelines I started six years ago, when I was cold, desperate, fighting, and alone in a foreign country, with nothing on my mind but the desire to survive and create.
And looking at all we have accomplished so far, that creation is beginning to meet me halfway. For that, I am grateful.
Thinking back to 2008 and 2009, I did not get the job I was willing to do anything to get. Nor did I keep the job they ended up giving me.
Instead, I ended up sitting in a cold Hungarian apartment, making my movie without even knowing it.
And looking at how the work I did back then is being used now, the once bitter taste I felt in my mouth somehow tastes a little bit sweeter today.
It's the taste of conviction.
The Journey Continues.
TG
If you like stories like these, write to [email protected] and you will be included into the making of our film.
@playingthegame1
TheFCStartMovie.com
Comments welcome below.
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